35 random things about me...

I saw this blog on Pinterest where this woman did 35 random acts of kindness in the months leading up to her 35th birthday. I thought it was so cool, and I really wanted to do it...but I forgot about it until 2 weeks ago. Instead, I came up with a list of 35 random things, in no particular order, about me. Enjoy.

1. I am obsessed with biscuits. Flaky, buttery, soft, warm, buttermilk biscuits. I love them with butter and honey or jelly. I don't even care what kind of jelly...as long as its slathered on and sticky sweet. I pass a McDonald's every day, and it's a struggle not to stop for a latte and a biscuit. Every day.

2. I can read Spanish aloud better than many fluent speakers, but I usually have no idea what I'm saying. (I took 2 years in HS and 4 semesters in college, and I grew up with fluent Spanish spoken all around me! #culturefail)

3. I don't really like my handwriting on paper, but love the way it looks when I write on my white board at school.

4. I am a major control freak with most things. It's not that I don't want and appreciate help, it's just that I wanna do it myself so it gets done EXACTLY the way I want it!

5. I'm strange and not easy to live with...I've come to terms with it. For example... If it bothers you but doesn't bother me, then you're the weird one. And so what if I did or said the exact same thing last week? You did/said it now and it's wrong.

6. I still sometimes feel like a kid and can't believe that I'm responsible for so many little people throughout the day.

7. I don't like to be touched by most people. Strangely, my "bubble" has gotten more wide spread as I've gotten older.

8. I don't like most people and I think that, in general, people are idiots. I don't discriminate by age, race, profession, etc.... the world is full of idiots. {except you!! You're awesome! }

9. Since turning 30, I have been mildly freaking out about turning 35... I have no idea why! Today is my birthday. I am 35. EEEK!!!!

10. I had the funniest, sassiest, prettiest, most huggable and loveable stepdaughter named Iris Lee. She was 19 years old when she passed away due to injuries from a car accident 2 1/2 years ago on October 30, 2010. I think about her every. single. day.

11. I grew up in a small town and went to school (kinder-graduation) in an even smaller town, but I've always been a city girl at heart. (Okay, so I live in the suburbs...it's a compromise)

12. I'm a night owl. I physically cannot fall asleep early, and I love to sleep during the day. This, too, has changed as I've gotten older. Bummer.

13. My lucky number is 5...because of my birthday (5/5). Growing up, I always wished that I had been born one day later just so I could say that my birthday was 5-6-78. I'm a nerd like that.

14. I love baseball movies. My dad and I would watch them together when I was younger and I still love them. 42 is a must see!

15. I knew that Cindy would be important in my life the second I saw her. We started dating 3 years later. We've been together for eight and a half years and I can't get enough of her! We joke that at 3:30 every weekday, our invisible attachment cords start pulling us back together. Some people think we're weird because we don't do anything apart. There is no one I have ever wanted to be around this much, until Cindy.

16. I'm good at trivia. Random shit that you never need to know....unless you're playing a trivia game.

17. Eggs Benedict is my all time favorite meal. Bread, eggs, meat, and hollandaise?!? Yes, please!!!!

18. I love veggies. Almost all of them. Except beets and eggplant. Weird now that I think about it, seeing as purple is one of my favorite colors.

19. I think most things are funny and I'm almost always laughing. Maybe it's just me... I am pretty damn hilarious.

20. I value honesty and it is nearly impossible to gain my trust back after you've effed it up. Ain't nobody got time for that!

21. I used to be addicted to Dr. Pepper and am now soda free...water only for this girl! (Mostly)

22. I am a fitness/work out fanatic.... but only in my head (and on Pinterest). Actually doing it - that's a different story! But I'm determined to become a real life fitness freak!

23. I have anxiety issues. I get mini panic attacks with a lot of stimuli. The mall on a busy day, Ross with the crazy racks, HEB when I don't know what I want.... I get a little crazy.

24. I've been known to freak out if my crispy taco shell breaks. I kinda scared Cindy like that once. Well, it's supposed to hold everything and then all of a sudden it all falls apart?? NOT COOL!

25. I have ADD. I am constantly doing more than one thing at a time. I can't sit still for very long and I can never just sit and watch an entire movie at home without doing a million things.

26. I talk a. lot. Duh.... you know me so this is no surprise.

27. I am a hardass bitch, but extremely sensitive at the same time. Don't eff with me or my family, I will eff you up. But don't hurt my feelings cuz I'll cry.

28. I have always and will always stand up for gay rights. We are all human beings so STFU... your argument is invalid. And stupid. And mean.

29. I started college right out of high school, and I met some awesome people (some of which are still my BFFs today). Let's just say I had too much fun, and kinda fell out of the college game for a while. I finally went back and graduated at 30 and became a teacher. Pretty cool.

30. I am totally obsessed with polishing my nails. I have a big bag full of polish, and I sometimes change more than once a week. I also usually start laundry, then start my nails and then give Cindy a big puppy dog look like "sorry, I can't switch the loads cuz my nails are wet" LOL. I swear it's never on purpose, though!

31. I love birds. Pictures of birds, bird tattoos, statues or figurines of birds, but actual real live birds? Oh hell no! Anything with flappy wings near me freaks me out!!!

32. John Mayer's voice will always be one of my absolute favorite singing voices ever. I don't think he's pretty to look at AT ALL, but the second I hear his voice... it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Favorite JM song- Back to You

33. I hate this one, but I am always late. Pretty much always. I always have the best intentions of getting places on time, but I'm almost always running a few minutes behind schedule. I don't know why! Like, just wake up and start getting ready earlier, right?!? I know...

34. Hot pink is my favorite color. If given a choice between anything, ever, I always go with pink. Everything is better pink.

35. I have the most awesome best friends a girl could ask for. They are supportive when I need it, brutally honest when someone needs to be, and they make me laugh.

A happier Thanksgiving...

It was about 4 years ago...can that be right? 4 years ago Iris was only 15, wasn't she? I know that's not true, but it's so hard to comprehend that no matter how much time goes by, she'll always be 19. *sigh*

Let me try this again.

It was about 4 years ago, that Iris agreed to spend Thanksgiving lunch with me and Cindy at my mom's house. This was a big deal. If you had told me, a year before, that Iris would EVER spend any holiday with us, I would have never believed it. But there we were, at my moms. Looking back, I don't think my mom knew we were coming because there wasn't enough chairs in the dining room. We were going to either sit at the kitchen table near the food, or bring chairs to the dining room. Iris wanted to stay in the the kitchen, so we served ourselves a plate and sat down to eat. After a while, members of my family started coming in every once in a while to get seconds. I looked over at Iris and noticed that she had more food on her plate than she had a few minutes before. She looked at me and said, "I like sitting here because I can get seconds without anyone seeing me."

I miss that girl so much. I know that today she would have kept coming in the kitchen while I was baking to sneak a taste. I know that she would be drinking with us right now, laughing at the kids. I know that tomorrow she would be bumping us out of the way to get to the ham. I know that I am so thankful to have been her stepmonster, and I know that she knows how much she is loved an missed.

Saturday mornings and 4 hour road trips

Every Saturday morning is hard. Every 4 hour drive back home brings back unwanted memories. The last Saturday of October is the worst.

On the last Thursday of October, two years ago, I was in the kitchen baking cookies while Cindy and Iris sat at the kitchen table decorating them. Iris had never decorated cookies before. My sister and I grew up decorating cookies for every holiday, at the kitchen table while my mom baked in the kitchen. Iris even tried to jump in on the baking too, but I shooed her back to the table. (I don't play well with others when I'm baking in my kitchen.) : )

That night, after all the cookies were done and the kitchen was cleaned, the 3 of us went upstairs to get ready for bed. Cindy and I watched as Iris packed her suitcase and got herself ready for her trip to Alice for the weekend. She had a 7am class on Fridays, and was driving to Alice as soon as class was over. I gave her a huge hug and told her I loved her. She said, "I love you, too" as she hugged me back with one of her famous bear hugs. That was the first time we had ever shared those words.

Those are the last spoken words that we ever said to each other. We texted each other a few times the next day, but "I love you" will forever be the last thing that we said to each other.

Last night as I was buying a bottle of wine, I suddenly remembered that last Friday night in October 2 years ago. Cindy and I were buying a bottle of wine, and we both got a text from Iris with a blurry picture of someone in a costume. Her message said "I doubt you can see him but that guy in green is dressed as tinkerbell : ))"

Today, on the last Saturday of October, we are driving the same long road that we drove 2 years ago. It never gets easier, and it never will.

Remembering that hug and those last words Iris and I spoke to each other gives me a sense of peace. We definitely had some difficult times, but we moved past them and had a pretty good relationship.

So on this last Saturday of October, I will try my best to feel her hug and see her smile. And as I whisper "I love you" up to the heavens, I know that she'll be smiling back and saying, "I love you, too."

Iris and Lily

My earliest, and probably my favorite, memory of Iris took place at the softball fields in Alice. I was there to watch the game, not play - I do not do well with team sports, especially softball. That's another story altogether. Anyway...I was there with a friend (or an ex, whatevs) who had been invited to play by Cindy, who I worked with. We got to the field and found the team waiting for the current game to finish so they could take the field.

Iris was about 11 years old, and she was sitting in a foldable camping chair next to the bleachers. She had a fat, black puppy on her lap. Being a dog lover, I was immediately drawn to them. I said hi (I believe we had met before) and scooped up the puppy, asking, "what's its name?" She looked up at me with all the pride of a new momma and said, very confidently, "Lily". It was at that time that the little puppy started squirming and ended up in my arms, belly up. I glanced down and realized that this was no Lily!

My friend/ex was standing right next to me, so I showed her the dog, belly first, and said, "Look at the puppy! HER name is LILY." She first looked at me like I had hit my head, because why else would I be talking so slowly? I did the thing where you point at something with your eyes all big. You've done it before, don't lie. She finally noticed that Lily was a boy!

I handed the dog back to Iris, not wanting to break a little girl's heart. I walked over to say hi to Cindy and mentioned the puppy's name. I kinda laughed because I thought surely she would know the difference, right? Wrong! Cindy ran over to Iris and grabbed the dog to look. She looked at us puzzled and said, "I thought boys had it right between their legs!"

So there I am explaining what the male and female anatomy of dogs looks like to Cindy and Iris. Teaching before I was a teacher! I should add that to my resume!

A few minutes later, as we were watching the game, I saw that Iris was still sitting in her camping chair holding her puppy, but now she had sunk down a little lower and didn't look quite as happy as before. A friend walked up to her and said, "oh what a cute puppy! What's its name?" Iris looked up with the biggest pouty face ever seen and said, "well, her name WAS Lily."

I'll never forget that story, or the look on that little face. Lily was renamed Jet that night, and after a short time in therapy, had a happy life. : )

What I miss the most...

I miss Iris every day. Every hour of every day is more accurate. I only got to be a part of her life for 8 short years. We had some great times, and oh, did we have some bad times! Any mother of a teenager can relate. It gets ugly, people. It goes without saying that I miss her face, her voice, her laugh, her hugs....I could go on forever...

As I drove home from work today, a rainy day, I couldn't help but think of what I miss the most.

I miss the way she would roll her eyes when I tried to give my advice.

I miss the way she always wanted to be my personal stylist when we went shopping. (I still don't know how to wear scarves.)

I miss the way she and I could be mad at each other one minute, and bond over trashy reality TV the next.

I miss how she taught me all the words to every Lady Gaga song.

I miss being shopping buddies...clothes, makeup, purses, anything!

I miss us fighting over the comfiest spot on the couch.

I miss ganging up against Cindy. We would always win! ; )

I miss coming home and finding her on the couch, watching TV.

I miss how she would always lose or break her phone.

I miss how she told stories.

I miss how she loved hanging out with her mom.

I could write a book about all the things I miss after only 8 years. These are things that I miss every day and I'll never forget. People think this month is harder to get through. It's not any harder than any other month of the year. It's not more painful than every day. Regardless of the smiles on our faces or the spring in our step, the ache of missing her is always there. I miss her so much every day and the hole in my heart will never fully heal.

I love that I can talk about her with my friends and family without them acting uncomfortable or looking at me in pity. I want people to know her and how she was and who she was. I don't want anyone to ever forget.

There are many people that have come and gone in my life, and I miss them all. But I'll always miss her the most.

Catching Up!

Wow... we go out of town for 4 days and it takes me a whole damn week to catch up!  I know you've been on pins and needles waiting for a new post, and I hate to disappoint...so here it is!  : )  I really need to come up with daily themes like I've seen on other blogs, but for now I'll just stick to filling you in on my oh-so-exciting life.  : )

Last Friday, we headed out to Austin to visit my best friend, Ange.  It was such a beautiful day.

We went to dinner at one of our favorite Austin restaurants, The Oasis, with Ange and Felicity.  Great food, great friends!

On Saturday, we headed to Bastrop to relax at the fabulous Hyatt Lost Pines Resort.  We had a great time relaxing on the lazy river all day. 

We needed to rest in the room for a bit afterwards.

We had some s'mores, some yummy drinks, and lots of much needed girl time!

There was lots of yummy food there, but by far the BEST thing I ate was the BLTG - honey cured bacon, arugula, tomato aioli, and goat cheese on sourdough, served with sweet potato fries.  O.M.G!  It was like the chef could read my mind and put all of my favorite things together on one plate.  Seriously.  Best. meal. ever.

The only thing I didn't like about that meal was that it was our last at Lost Pines : (  Unfortunately, we had to head back home to reality enjoy the rest of our summer.   On the way home we saw a bunch of trees that were burned in the wildfires last year.  It was really sad.

We didn't bring any souveniers home, but I did get a nice golden tan....on almost every visible part of my body.  I seriously have no idea what happened there!

The best thing about coming home was that I got some much needed FaceTime with my two favorite little guys!

Wednesday, we went to a Mary Kay party at a friend's house.  There was yummy food and drinks, and I got to play with makeup!  Fun!!!

To wrap up the week, I got an old tattoo covered with an original (and beautiful!) design that my favorite tattoo artist, Red, drew for me.  Here's the before, during, and after pics of my new ink. 

I love the design and the colors!  I couldn't be happier about it!

And that's how we spent our week!  I promise I won't slack off again.... at least I'll try not to!  I hope you enjoyed the pictures... see ya soon!

What I wanna know is...

• What was your favorite part of the past week?

: )

Fourth of July Fun!

Cindy and I went to my mom/sister's house yesterday to hang out with the family and eat some yummy grub.  Here's a rundown of our day there.

We finally got to cut into the Strawberry Blueberry Poke Cake that I made for the 4th.  My stepdad LOVED it!  I'm not sure, but I think he loved it even more when I told him that it was a healthy cake! : )  In my opinion, it was good, but not great.  Whatever.  I got to eat cake and not feel terribly guilty about it which makes for a pretty good day!

My sister, Veronica, showed me her latest jewelry pieces.  She has her own jewelry business called Bella Cosas.  She is now making these gorgeous wrap bracelets that I absolutely LOVE!! I tried this one on and tried to sneak out with it, but she wouldn't let me! : ( 

She can make the bracelets in all colors and lengths and she can even personalize them with these adorable alphabet blocks.

 My favorite part of the day was hanging out with our 2 favorite boys, Jack and Drew!

 This little guy is becoming quite an inchworm!

 Jack got some new "big boy" toys and was obviously too busy to smile for the camera.

enjoying our day

We had some yummy steaks and roasted veggies for dinner, then we played with the boys a little more. 

Rolling around

The boys wrestled in grandpa's "man cave" while we watched Wheel of Fortune.

After a long day, Cindy and I headed home and decided to forgo the fireworks show and go watch The Amazing Spiderman instead.  If you haven't seen it yet, let me save you about $20 - go rent the first Spiderman movie at a Redbox and be done with it.  Sure, the special effects and graphics are pretty awesome (especially in 3D), but the story line is EXACTLY the same with just a few minor changes.  Which, I guess, means it's not exactly the same, but you know what I mean.  Regardless...it's a good movie, but we liked it back in 2002... when it first came out.  Okay, you get the hint.  I'll move on.

We spent today doing a little shopping and getting stuff ready for our weekend getaway to Hyatt Lost Pines outside of Austin.  We get to see some great friends, spend the weekend with my BFF, and relax and have tons of fun at this amazing resort... I can hardly wait!  I even got a bright, fun summer mani/pedi! Yes, I decided to try the accent nail trend.  What do you think? 

While I don't plan on blogging over the weekend, I'll be sure to take tons of pictures and tell you all about our trip on Monday! 

What I wanna know is:

• How did you spend your Fourth of July?
• Did you or are you planning on taking any trips this summer?